The Park

Allowing me to continue with last weeks indie game extravaganza. This week I played “The Park.” A game which has been in my que for some time. While it’s been on X Bone at an exclusive price rate. Here’s what happened.


In little under two hours at $9. I am Lorraine. A young woman who takes her son Callum to the Atlantic Island Park. Upon first observations I noticed this game was developed with Unreal. However, the delivery seems like something straight from a mid X360 development team. Just one step behind looking like PS2 Crayon graphics. Also known as The X Files. Meanwhile, the game starts off with Callum and Lorraine in the parking lot of said park. As we approach the front gates it turns out Callum lost his damn teddy bear and its our job to find it. After talking to the front gateman he gives us the okay to enter. Low and behold the damn kid somehow made it from the car (again, opposite of the front gate) all the way into the park. While we ride the escalator to the top. The story begins with narration of how it’s been a wild ride to be a mother. And Lorraine really tries to sell it to me she’s glad to be a mother. Which to me screams “mother issues” real quickly. I’m saying there’s a level which characters in the past have been proud parents to some extent. Lorraine, on the other hand is like the soccer mom who’s really excited about everything their demon child has accomplished in life.

Observation one: When Callum is 30 feet away from us. He some how keeps an easy distance when we’re trying to run after him. First critic, Silent Hill did it first. Second, in real life I would have been booking it after Callum. Not merely jogging, telling him to stop running and hoping said 7 year old stops because mommy said so.

maxresdefaultThe first amusement ride we get to enjoy is a Swan Boat ride. While still beda-bopping around the park, calling for Callum who’s not out of sight. We fallow the whispers of Callum assuming he’s in said ride. Turns out we’re here to hear a story about Hansel and Gretel. While the story itself is drawn out and the delivery on two subtly scary sections were cool. The end of the ride was eh. Point and case, an evil Chipmunk is standing on the edge of the tunnel bank. Oooh, scary… But nothing happened. Point and case again, at the end of the boat ride the swans head turned around and quacked maniacally. Just to turn around again.

The next ride to amuse ourselves is the Octopus. The park during this time is allegedly closing. Tenants to these rides are nowhere to be seen. However, the rides are still going. Jumping into the Octopus ride was another odd ride till we’re introduced to The Boogieman. At which point the introduction was off putting, but not scary again… This happens for more than one occasion till the roller coaster ride which was by far the best ride to be on. A little story telling from Lorraine adds to her ‘soccer mom’ image I described above till it all turns for a slight worst. While I’m trying to feel for her empathically, seriously though, all I heard was a whiny bitch. It was the ultimate ‘I made life choices and I’m the hurt one.’ Not the opposite being, ‘I’ve made life choices and I’m making that shit work.’ Dr. Phil would have a blast with Lorraine if he had the opportunity.

The park itself isn’t necessarily large, in consideration to mapping where you are and where you may want to go to first. Which is upsetting on the part there’s tons of rides to pick out from any amusement park. From Circus, State Fairs, to Corporate, a lot of different rides could have been added. Hell, a pool level would have sufficed. Or a water slide…. Something in those themes. For what it’s worth, The Park gives a few rides, a few jumps and some shenanigans with hunting around finding things to continue the story line.

While the climax is anything but shocking after getting to the last ‘ride’. I’m perplexed at the story as a whole. It’s a mock Pulp Fiction-esk story without jumping characters or stories, however has it’s “You didn’t connect the small dots I placed out for you!?” Reading forums online to reinforce my point, apparently there’s a whole other game involved with The Park and thus I have to experience that particular game to be in the know. Now I feel like I’ve just got dumped into a Final Fantasy bullshit storyline. Thanks! Allow me to back track to the stone age to get why things are the way they are and not try to cross contaminate it with other mediums of art to draw a conclusion….


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