Star Wars Battlefront

A long time ago… In a galaxy far far away…

Also known as my living room…

FACT: A lot of people are really excited and have mixed reviews for the new stories to come from Disney’s Star Wars films. So far, Episode Seven was a box hit and Rogue One has been dubbed as a breath of fresh air in consideration to the installments thus far. Another couple of universal facts include: Gravity being a bitch and the last time Star Wars was released in my life time it was the ‘prequels’ so it’s kinda hard to have a warm spot for the franchise. Everyone seems to have their own answer about how to fix the prequels. Examples include but not limited to killing JarJar Binks. Snapping George Luckas’ wrists Misery style and having films which were more so based on Hero/Villain story lines.


Battlefront on the other hand doesn’t get bogged down with Jedi, Sith, or Princesses needing to be saved shenanigans. Today we’re the common man mixed up with either the survival of the Empire or the Rebellion for reasons which are clearly beyond our comprehension. We run out from one of our ‘start points’ in one of the Star Wars and immediately get blown to bits by an enemy grenade. And then, this is the clever part, you get to watch someone else on your team run out right after you and get killed by someone ten levels higher than you.

Anyway, Star Wars Battle front IS a multiplayer shoot ’em up game. The game will tell you there is a single player mode which is why it will go to the seventh level of hell for lying. As far as Multiplayer is really concerned with, we have battles up to 40 people and war over iconic scenery from our favorite movies in complete aww for a couple of seconds before someone snipper riffles your balls.

This is my first multiplayer to personally own. “Back in my day,” yes I can say that I’m nearly 30 years old now, I remember playing Halo 3 on multiplayer and thought it was challenging enough with just ten people in total while also being called a fag by a seven year old. The overall theme when it comes to these games though is to run into a dust bowl of lazer pistol fights with a 99% chance of not surviving. While also stalking all the noobs and kicking their ass’s because you’re a level 12 and I’ll be damned to be owned by a guy who just bought this game today and expect to be the hero of this war zone. However reality hits when you stalk a guy you thought was newer than you and come to find out they wield a blaster.

The question for today is: Does the whole Star Wars thing make up for anesthetics like a title for just the fan boys? Is it just another Star Wars item in a list of video games we all thought we wanted? Or does it impact gameplay in any particular fashion? Well to answer for impact on gameplay, everyone is shooting lazers so it’s not like I can’t tell where these things are coming from. While also pretending to be in a nightmare of evil glow sticks chasing after you to kill you. Also you can pilot Star Wars classic vehicles. Such as X-Wings, A-Wings, Tie Fighters etc but this is really just a classy way of calling the game ‘spectator mode.’ The ‘I’m board of being killed every ten seconds and would like to have some illusion of actually doing something right, for once.’ There’s minimal effect I personally feel like I’m contributing when fighting on ground mode. Thus, when it all comes down to it I can either shoot at people on the ground who I really want to believe are my enemy (and most likely my team) or dog fight against actual opponents in the sky.


While it’s really hard to not overlook the fine options of being a foot soldier or taking a break to enjoy the view from the sky. While also enjoying an aspect incorporating Hero’s and Villains.” Major characters from the films so far with more health and special powers making everyone really wish they weren’t born. Simply put with twenty people on a team and your opponent happens to have Luke Skywalker involved, the game play turns into a game of bowling. We’re all bowling pins at this point. The idea of having the chance to be Luke, Leia, Han, Vader, etc. all boils down to being Mikey on a box of Life Cereal. I do enjoy the idea of one person being the Hero/Villain and everyone gangs up on him. Where if you kill the Hero/Villain you get to be next. That’s actual fun, because it gives incentive, and gives a reward based on merit while also giving an illusion of what it would be like to be in a gang rape scenario when everyone is all of a sudden after you.

While the stock Hero/Villains literally come with their stereo typical perks. Luke and his father Darth Vader (Spoiler alert) have glow sticks and are usually seen running around like they’re apart of some rave. Han and Lando run around as if they’re guns somehow forgot to work. While Leia has a shield. God bless the poor soul who ends up with Leia, for reals.

Overall the Hero hunt is an interesting game mechanic. While all the other types of game play literally lines opposing teams up and gives an objective to complete in a set amount of time. Meanwhile, the actual objective doesn’t matter for shit because in a multiplayer game you are but a drop of water in a sea of other players trying to have fun. Which is all it can ever be when you have a diverse group of people on different levels trying to ‘out gun,’ ‘out smart,’ and ‘out play’ one another. There’s really no way to coordinate efforts except to be at the right time at the right place. And forget that seven year old calling you a fag because there’s no way for 40 people to be on audio communication aside from characters yelling, screaming and dying. At the end of the day there’s no reason to really know what team won. Because at the end of the day we’re all here for the experience points to gain more treats to use in the next skirmish.

Why not play with friends? Good idea, try organizing forty people from Facebook to all log on to XBone and pop in the same damn game and prey to the porcelain God we all did it right. Explain to me how all that worked out for you.

Star Wars put a lot of effort into the WARS aspect of this game. But at the end of the day it’s a recruitment game. We start off a fresh face noob with the eyes aglow from enjoying the wonders of a galaxy we can only dream of. Only to die in the first ten seconds. Then shortly after playing 2 days non-stop you become THAT GUY. While you’re trying all you can to avenge your first moment of life in this game, all those assholes went on to bigger better fights. Here you are beefed up with weapons to inevitably turn into the very same person you set yourself out to defeat because you too killed someone within the first five seconds of gameplay to someone else. It’s a dark cycle and you became apart of it. Congratulations.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s